Hello, welcome to the third edition of the "Interpersonal Communication"! Today we'll talk
even LISTENING EFFECTIVE and especially empathic listening.
The most effective way to also understand the emotional point of view of the interlocutor is surely able to assume an attitude of empathic listening. With this post I want to drive in activating your resources to listen in an empathic way, catch up with each other. Only in this way, in fact, you can experience the communicative relationship in a completely "open" in contact with each other and as an opportunity for growth. Empathic listening is a next level active listening. And 'the ability to step into someone else's shoes to fully understand his point of view, made not only of thought but also of emotions, establishing contact with the a contact-free and opinions based on mutual understanding. Empathy does not necessarily give advice, which could be quite a way to control the other or make it official, it does not mean act as the resolver of the problems of others. Empathic listening, however, may allow you to communicate with the other party so that they can receive information that will help to clarify ideas. To achieve an empathic listening should try as much as possible to dispense with any form of abuse or submission, setting exactly on par with each other. Although the meeting happen between a top manager and a worker, each of them will have the opportunity to exchange their points of view, experiential, enriching in some way the vision of the other. Empathic listening, therefore, completely ignores the culture and intellect, and puts everyone on an equal footing. Talk like it, but even more like to be heard and understood, mainly because free from responsibility and the effort of listening. Empathic listening takes place when one recognizes at once: your eyes become a bridge, communication is more fluid, hardly pauses or silences are broken and the attitude of the parties is more relaxed and spontaneous. Empathic listening is silent, but not without words. Encouragement to continue, challenging questions, the wording, paving the way of clarity. The activity of listening is shown by the concentration: if the speaker loses the thread, good listener helps him to immediately take up the subject, right where it left off, sharing the synthesis of experience, both rational and emotional. Requests for clarification will be made to organize themselves to better the relationship between thought and action. It should, however, limit the use of these questions so that communication becomes a monologue. Since a language that uses these types of questions too temporary exclusion of the other party the ability to enter into the discourse, it is tedious and takes progress toward closing the dialogue. Applications for study can be open or closed. In any case seek to obtain accurate information or to better understand the thinking behind the language. They help to open other channels of communication and enrich the language of symbols, metaphors, in short, make it more "visual" in its representation. Feedback, ie the information return required to check your comprehension of the message, is favored in active listening and even more emphatic than in his easy susceptibility to any kind of result could arise from the communication. The feedback in this sense is free from manipulation, and is not a liberal interpretation the emotional component of the interlocutor's message, but a summary relating to what has actually been expressed by another. Empathic listening there are no rigid rules or universal recipes, what matters is the level of trust and openness that you can establish with each other. However, some suggestions may be helpful: Do not be in any hurry, try to change the views, seek assistance if necessary to understand, let the emotions show through, use irony, listen to yourself. Active listening is developed with slow shutter speeds. It is not possible to predict the actual duration of a conversation. And this rule applies even more so for listening empathic. When the process of understanding was finalized, you will feel calm in the relationship on an emotional level, while at the cognitive level there will be no other concerns or questions to ask. If you move away from models, from cognitive distortions, barriers to listening, learning from rigidity, there will be a flow of communication, verbal and nonverbal, that will enrich the perspectives of both parties. The acquisition of point of view can lead to change in a more or less pronounced his point of view. The use of applications becomes a cry for help to better understand and to deepen, by whom listen. The search for clarity is essential, because listening is to give meaning to the words of others. Even a nod may be a request for understanding. Get help to understand, never to judge, question or blame, it also means showing interest in the words of the other, each other in this way his desire to express themselves and communicate with us. If you listen it reveals one's own experience (especially through non-verbal channel), the speaker will feel freer to express their emotions. Conversely, if the listener is wearing a mask, you will create a relational distance and listening in danger of becoming simply a "technical". He who speaks, in fact, he realizes that the other is hiding something and, by extension, choose a mask to wear even heavier. Irony knows raise complex situations in which the tension becoming too high risk degenerating into aggression and conflict. A smile, a joke, lighten the heaviness of boring conversations or inconclusive, arousing the attention of the other. Also, "listen" and give space to your smile, creates a greater readiness to speaker and listener. The signals from the other take on value only if the listener knows first listen to himself, his emotions, his thoughts deep. Listening to oneself never ends at the end of a meeting, but the process leads to a summary only where the person who gets listened to their feedback, in addition to the other. The moment of synthesis varies depending on the intensity and importance of the relationship. This module described the dynamics of listening empathically, which assumes an attitude devoid of leadership and openness towards the other. Were submitted for advice to empathize with the other party and has been shown the way toward understanding the content and emotions in communication.
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